Fast forward, I’m standing still

It has turned cold, finally. Its time for coats and scarves. Its time for tea and honey.

The cold brings back memories of sitting in my window, looking out at the rain, cup of tea in hand. Wrapped in a blanket. Book in my lap.
Raindrops on my window. Every now and then the wind would make a fallen leaf attach to it, too. It was dark but I’d lit all my candles.

It makes me think I miss it. Perhaps in some ways I do. But I know its not really true. I know I can do the same where I am now. I know I wont miss the long walk to school. The classes I never enjoyed the. The friends I never saw. The money I never had. As soon as I blew out my candles and stepped outside, it was just as cold there as I feel now.

But it could be so good.

There should  be someone here now. To drink tea with. To look out through the window with. And then run through the rain to the patisserie on the corner for a lazy breakfast. Thats what fall is about. Tea, cuddles and lazyness.

 

I never meant for this to happen. Honestly. But perhaps it is inevitable? I’m becoming American.

The evidence is overwhelming.

1. People ask me where in the States I’m from. It has happened at least three times. All traces of a British accent are gone. So are the ones after the Norwegian accent I never had.

2. I talk to people in elevators. When they leave, I wish them a good night.

3. I ask people in shops how they are. I ask people in elevators how they are. I am generally friendly towards people. Sure, I might not mean it and I usually dont stop to listen for their response but that’s all beside the point in this country.

4. I get angry. Oh, so angry. Although The Aggressive Maria came into existence in India, she has taken on a whole new dimension over here. 

But seriously .. If you have one counter in the Deli, staffed by two men. One serves up the hot dishes. The other makes sandwiches. Putting some pasta on a plate takes 1/5 of the time it takes to make a sandwich. Twice as many people want a sandwich. The sandwich guy is overworked and when I get to the counter eight people are waiting in line for a sandwich, none for the pasta. Pasta guy whistles to himself. Stares at the ceiling. Looks down at the pasta. Now, all I want is fries. Yeah, yeah, I know. Sandwich guy deals with the fries. But perhaps, since pasta guy isn’t doing anything .. ? "I’d just like a plate of fries?" "Sorry. He does that." "But can’t you give me a plate of fries?" "He takes care of fries." "But you’re no doing anything?" "He does the fries". YOU GOTTA BE F**KING KIDDING ME. Its okay to get angry. And I do. And I dont buy any damned fries, I get a DAMNED APPLE instead. Maybe thats it. Perhaps he’s just looking out for my health. Well, thanks a f**king lot you f**king idiot. F**king hell. MAN.

So, I was saying .. Hi, how are you? Great, how are you. Excellent. Just excellent.  

Favourites so far; 

 "Is anyone wearing blue hats?" He sits in City Hall Park every Sunday.

"I hate rats!" He walks around the East Village with a rat stapled to a cardboard poster.

"Listen, US government and International Justice Organisations, there was no sex before 1960". On 42nd between Park and Third.

More to come, I’m sure.  

 

I am writing this because and just because. Because they tell me to. There are no pressing issues.

I am still waiting to catch up with my life, which has been set a pace I can barely keep up with. I appreciate the speediness however. It keeps less pressing issues at a distance. Like longing and loneliness. I’ve been at home by myself two nights in a row and I am starting to miss things which I dont really care about. I am wanting to get in touch with those who there are no room for in my future.

Life has been good to me lately. Work is busy, and on-and-off interesting, the books that I am reviewing are either intriguing or annoying, but equally fascinating. The friends that I have made and continue to make are still around and I expect them to be for a while. Even as annoyances are surfacing, we enjoy each others company.

One friend in particular has reentered my life and given me more fun that I could have imagined. We’re each others humour-therapy, each others somewhat sane-but-crazy companions in this crazy-crazy city. I hope it becomes a permanent arrangement.

Several old friends are coming back to the city. Well, they’re here for the first time during my stay. I am not sure if that makes any difference. It’ll be interesting to see them in a different setting.

And what else .. I am still looking for someone to watch movies with me on my laptop and who’ll rub my back and feet. A few adventures - some maybes and some almosts - have borne little fruit. Perhaps there’ll be some, or one, certain(s). When dozing off, I like to imagine what my online dating profile would look like. I am sure it would make you laugh as hard as I do.

And that is it for now. Forced blogging, forced sharing - in that case you can’t expect more than this. More will follow when I catch up - or when I give up doing that.