Fast forward, I’m standing still

My first visit to India was not like I expected, perhaps because I wasn’t expecting much. Of course, I had an idea of India and an idea of Indians. Some things I was right about, others caught me by surprise. Real surprise. 

Before moving to London, I had a romantic picture of the city from the few times I’d visited for a day or two. I had scenes from both Bridget Jones and Closer in my head. But London did not turn out to be what I thought it was. London lacked a lot things I had already ascribed to it.   

Going off to New York I was again full of expectations. I’d never been and never really purposefully investigated the city from afar - other than passively through TV and movies. But so far, it is exactly how I pictured it. Two days in the city and I felt at home, I knew how the city worked, I knew how to get around, how to talk to its people, how to conduct my business. And not because its similar to home ..

There are certain areas of New York that everyone has heard of. Everyone "knows" what Spanish Harlem is like. And the Financial District. And parts of Brooklyn .. And guess what? Its all true. Its all exactly the way it has made out to be.

I am not saying the city is predictable, or boring. I am just saying .. It is comfortable, in a way. Reassuring.

I had one of those nights in the southern parts of Brooklyn. Where everything fell into place, and everyone belonged. Like a movie set. The dancing guy. The old man with all the stories. The stereotypical gay couple. The soundtrack fit perfectly. Like in the movies. Perhaps that is my New York slogan .. "New York - Just like the movies" 

Almost three weeks living in the City - and I am loving it. I hate the construction work that goes on outside my window every morning and every night, but I can handle it. It’s part of the deal.

New York is being good to me. I get up early in the morning and I smile. I spill my coffee on my way to work and I smile. I have to stand all the way from work and home when I’m tired at night, but its all good. Its all good.

I dont know why this place makes me so happy. Or why I feel so at home in a city where I keep getting lost, that I have no control over, and that I have hardly had time to explore. Perhaps its because I know that I will. Perhaps its because for the first time I dont feel guilty spending my free time doing the things I want to do. School is over. Everything I read is because I want to, not because I have to. The time I have after work is mine, and mine alone.

This city stands before me as a city of opportunity now - not just because of all of its options, its art, music, shops - but personally, as well. So far I’ve made tough decisions. Hard choices. And its been okay. And I’ve waited. Calmly. I’ve been patient, with people, with work, with processes .. As you will undoubtedly know, I am not a patient person. I am not calm. I am the antidote of those two adjectives.

Its progress. I’m growing. I wont attribute it all to NYC - but to the Maria that lives there, as compared to the Maria that lived in London.

Am I making sense? The short version: I like the city, and I am happy.