Objectives
This was supposed to be an entry on the ridiculousness of American bureaucracy. About queuing up outside the embassy, about queuing up inside, in front, behind, waiting, waiting, waiting .. About having to stand through your interview like a criminal, guilty until proven innocent, for then to be denied entry into the US for choosing the wrong letter for your visa but have your rejection letter say something completely different.
Instead I think this is an entry about doing the right things for the right reasons, or the right things for the wrong reasons, perhaps. Seeing my future roll away from me like the tide rolling back out to sea, I question why I am doing this. I know the obvious answer. For my career. For the experience. For leaving London. But why? Its not going to last, and as an intending immigrant having to prove she isnt one, the finishing line is visible ahead of me.
I knew why I wouldnt do it. And I also knew that other alternatives were out of the question. This or nothing. If I lose this, what is the nothing that I will be facing? I would have to create new alternatives. Possibly exciting ones, but I’d rather not go there.
This doesnt make sense to you, does it? It doesnt really to me either. Some things you just know .. Or just feel. And like that, I know that this is the only right move for me to take, even if it should turn out to be the wrong thing for the wrong reasons. It could have been anywhere, it could have been anything, but right now, its just this. In five months, it will be something else.
Det e bedre å angra på noe en har gjort enn noe en ikkje fekk gjort. Go for it, kos deg og fortsett bloggingen
Comment by AK — July 29, 2007 @ 11:32 am